just had a beautiful baby boy about a month ago. and it has taken me more than a month to really, truly, happily enjoy my son.
it's not that there wasn't love at first sight. there was plenty. i already loved him so much even before he was conceived, while he was growing within me, with every kick and scan and heartbeat heard. i gushed at the sight of him at the delivery room.
but with all the pain after a c-section, all the drama my elder one was showing, all the commotion with my quiet home turned into a bustling hub...well, i just didn't feel much like a great mom.
the fact that i needed lots of help with everything further distanced me from my baby i guess. when everyone had left, and i was alone with my baby, and i had to do everything for him, that's when i really began to appreciate his every small detail.
i find joy in bathing him and watching his delight, my little water baby. i find contentment in breastfeeding him exclusively and watching him grow. i even find something satisfying cleaning his poo-poo and changing his diaper, coz he's so obviously happy when he's clean and dry.
what a wonderful journey to look forward to, me and my baby.
